remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
