I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
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why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
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Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?