Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die