I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.