I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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