My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I have post one night stand depression
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