i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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