my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
