Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
