so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Randomize
