SEEEEXXX PLEASE
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
