what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
