please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
