Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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