he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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