A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
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