Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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