I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
