is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
