If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every concussion has its silver lining
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize