Ketchup is God's man juice
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
