She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
