Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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