He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
