well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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