yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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