before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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