from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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