I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
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