How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
