one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
OPIZZABONMYDICK
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
