Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
