So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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