How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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