I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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