I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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