I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
