brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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