your thong is hanging out like whoa
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
