The brown eye won't let me do that either.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
