She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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