So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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