When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize