is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
