That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
