It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
