I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
