I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Randomize
