Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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