either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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