I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Someone came in the potted fern
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
