She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I am naked and annoyed.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize