So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Will exercising make me less horny?
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