thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Randomize
