can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
The uberlube is also flammable
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
