From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
