Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize