the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a waste of cheezeits
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize