where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
