She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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