i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Someone shit on the floor
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
